So I was really looking forward to moving out of the last apartment I was at because of the neighbors. It was an apartment complex with no private patio area, in front or back. So basically, if anyone wanted to chill outside and have a smoke it had to be done out front, where you’re kind of in a communal front-porch space. 

I couldn’t stand the neighbors. Vain, obnoxious, petty, and self-centered. Almost anytime we all happened to be outside at the same moment I was reminded of all the reasons I don’t like venturing out into the world, trying to “make friends” with “people my age.” Because they’re fucking idiots no matter how you spin it (okay, not actually all of them. my generalizations tend to be extreme). Occasionally you have the well-paced in-depth conversation about something intelligent, or thought-provoking. But for the most part, it was either the queen-bee bitching from dusk till dawn about how good of a person she was, and how wronged and hurt she had been by a recent scandal between her best friend and ex-boyfriend; or she was finding some other way to be the center of attention (ie: practicing her belly dancing moves infront of her outside front window, shouting out the name of the move she was trying to nail and speaking highly of her muscle tone or how she couldn’t wait to be awesome at it). Does she have a nice body? Yea. Sure. She’s “hot.” So she flaunts it, and just is the definition of annoying to me. OR it would be the whole hive of bees swarming downstairs blowing off steam and killing time, doing drugs.

We all have the right to blow off steam and waste time, don’t get me wrong. I just wanted to be able to also blow off my own steam, in my own way, with a little bit of privacy, and so you can understand how incredibly happy I am to be in a new, and quieter environment. 

I’m not that much different than most people who compulsively check their facebook just because, and today I was at it again. Scroll locked for a good 2 hours (actually finding some sincerely interesting articles/links people shared, but the majority being the usual spam grind). My cousin posts a comment to my status update. HO. DAMN. Now my heart rate has increased and I have butterflies in my belly because my (as I see) dumb cousin is sharing her highly-educated (sarcasm) input, and I just …UGH! Thank god, a friend from school threw my cousin’s shit back in her face. Hahaha. But I’m still feeling excited, or anxious, or something. I just wanna tell my cousin what I really think of her, but not really! but dammit! THIS FEELS JUST LIKE THE PATIO. Facebook sometimes links me to some awesome shit, but most of the time it’s annoying bullshit. FROM EVERYONE FROM EVERYWHERE. 

I’m an avid user of the “hide” and “unsubscribe” buttons, but it’s like….what am I doing to myself even? Why? This is stupid. 

I finally have a patio of my own to sip coffee quietly on and enjoy the view, without alarming, random reminders of things I hate about humans cramping my style. But I’m still checking my facebook and allowing myself to be bothered by bullshit. 

tsk. tsk. tsk.

"An economist says that essentially more for you is less for me, but the lover knows that more for you is more for me too. If you love somebody, then their happiness is your happiness. Their pain is your pain. Your sense of self expands to include other beings. That’s love. Love is the expansion of the self to include the other."